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If I can just give to the world more than I take from it, I will be a very happy man. For there is no greater joy in life than to give. Motto : Live, Laugh and Love. You can follow me on Twitter too . My handle is @Raja_Sw.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Indian Politics Today - in a lighter vein

The last four days have seen a lot of petty drama in Indian politics. It seems to have stooped to a new low. Following the news, I couldn't help feeling that the events of the last few days would put even a Bollywood masala film to shame. If Indian politicians can keep this up, you've got to think that a few producers in Bollywood would be seriously worried that they'd be out of business very soon.

Where there's Bollywood, there's song and music, and - without meaning any disrespect to the serious business that governance is - a few songs did cross my mind as I watched the events unfold.

A sample:

1) Dayanidhi Maran, now Textiles Minister but once Telecom Minister, was dragged into the 2G scam. He vehemently denied all accusations and rubbished claims from former Aircel owner, Sivasankaran, that he was "arm-twisted" by Maran into selling Aircel to the Sun group.

Dayanidhi Maran (in Anil Kapoor mode):
2G, No jee, meri bhi suno ji
Main hoon beqasoor ji
Karna hai tumko jo, jaao karo ji
Sivasankaran, aur tu mat ban
My name is Maran
My name is Maran


2) Four senior minsters of the UPA govt welcomed Baba Ramdev at Delhi airport and held talks with him, apparently trying to placate him and ask him to call off his proposed fast. Apparently a deal was struck but Baba did not honour the deal. Kapil Sibal was enraged that the Baba reneged on his word, and went about flashing to the media, a written commitment from the Baba to the government, agreeing to its terms.

Kapil Sibal (in Jagjit Singh mode):
Wo kaagaz pe likhi, wo jhoothi kahaani
Ye dhokey ka anshan, ye badhti hairaani


3) Baba Ramdev, in turn, blasted the UPA govt, specifically saying he never wanted to ever see Kapil Sibal again

Baba Ramdev:
Badi mushqil hai
Mushqil main Sibal hai
Koi usse khai se uthaaye naa
Jaake kahin wo doob hi jaaye
Koi phir milaaye naa


4) Kapil Sibal lashed back at Baba Ramdev.

Kapil Sibal:
Tum to, dhokebaaz ho
Waada karke, bhool jaate ho


5) An angry government, now determined to “rein in” Baba Ramdev (Kapil Sibal’s words, not mine!) decided on a sinister midnight strategy

Government:
Raat baaki, baat baaki
Hona hai jo, ho jaane do


6) The police gate-crashed Baba Ramdev’s party, burst teargas shells, dispersed the crowd and tried to capture Baba. Although he tried to escape, dressed in woman’s salwar-kameez, the police did get to him.

Police:
Bach ke, bach ke, bach ke
Bach ke kahaan jaaoge
Bach ke kahaan jaaoge


7) The next day, there was a huge outcry all over the country. Even hitherto supporters of the UPA began to express outrage at this overnight action. The BJP, main opposition party in the country, saw its opportunity to cash in.

The BJP celebrated, singing:
Sab kuchh seekha tum ne, na seekhi hoshiyaari
Sach hai Congress-waalon, ki tum ho anaari



8) The PM of the country, Dr. Manmohan Singh, true to style, kept his silence about the midnight police action. Finally, breaking his silence, he defended the govt action but admitted that it was “unfortunate”.

Dr. Manmohan Singh:
Kya se kya ho gaya
O Baba, tere fast pe


9) The Supreme Court, considerably alert nowadays, got into the action and served a notice on the UPA govt to explain the rationale behind the midnight police action.

Supreme Court:
Ye kya hua, kaise hua,
Kab hua, kyon hua


10) At a Congress briefing, a man, posing as a journalist for a Rajasthan publication, managed to put a couple of questions to Congress general secretary, Janardhan Dwivedi. More interestingly, he managed to get to the podium, and just towards the conclusion of the briefing, removed his shoe and threatened Dwivedi with it.

Shoe-guy:
Maar diya jaaye
Ya chhod diya jaaye
Bol tere saath kya salook kiya jaaye


11) Meanwhile, the BJP decided to organize its own protest / rally at the Rajghat in Delhi. Sushma Swaraj, BJP leader, was caught on camera dancing as part of the event. She came in for immediate criticism from the Congress party but, true to form, remained defiant, insisting that there was nothing wrong with singing and dancing to patriotic songs, and that she would do this again if the situation arose.

Sushma Swaraj:
Jab tak hai jaan
Jaan-e-jahaan
Main nachoongi


12) In parallel, the BJP decided to welcome back to its fold, Uma Bharti, one-time prominent leader, who had been dismissed from the party in 2005 for open dissent with L.K. Advani. But these are different times, the BJP needs to win votes in UP/MP and their new leader, Nitin Gadkari, was happy to forgive and forget. A warm welcome was therefore accorded to Uma Bharti.

Nitin Gadkari:
Tum aa gaye ho
Noor aa gaya hai
Nahin to chiraagon se
Lau jaa rahi thi


13) Uma Bharti’s response was equally warm towards the BJP. She claimed that being in politics, she always belonged to only the BJP and no other political party:

Uma Bharti:
Jeene ki tumse
Wajah mil gayi hai
Badi bewajah
Zindagi jaa rahi thii


14) The UPA govt, keen on finding dirt on Baba Ramdev, gunned for his close associate, Balkrishna, claiming he was not of Indian origin and had fake passports. Balkrishna defendend himself strongly but finally broke down.

Balkrishna:
Cheekhne waalon zara, mudke dekho mujhe
Ek bhartiya hoon, main tumhaari tarah


15) In all this, the poor Anna Hazare camp continued to try to stick to its agenda of the Jan Lokpal Bill. While they expressed their unhappiness at the callous manner in which the government seemed to consider their views, the media was more interested in masala and whether Baba Ramdev had upstaged Anna, whether Anna would support Ramdev (considering Ramdev’s rally had assumed political colour following the appearance of the Sangh parivaar members onstage). Poor Anna Hazare was left wondering at what was going on and what he was doing there.

Anna Hazare:
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum
Yunh hi saath saath chalte


***

4 comments:

dustedoff said...

:-D :-D

That was so much more fun than reading the morning newspaper, Raja! Delightful. Thank you - LOVED it!

Anonymous said...

That was so hilarious that it almost made me forget how stupid and pointless politicians in India really are. Almost...

raja said...

@Madhu, thanks. It is probably a reflection of the times that even politics has become a media-enabled 24/7 reality show. The next thing we will be asked to do is to SMS our preference for which politician should be thrown out of Parliament.

@Anon, thanks. Some of the guys may take offence if you call them stupid and pointless. They may claim that they are not entirely stupid. ;-)

squarecut.atul said...

Waah, waah, fantastic. Personally I have no time and energy to follow the tamasha of Indian news makers (read politicians). It is obvious that you are far more energetic than me to be able to not only follow them, but also to write about them.

:)