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If I can just give to the world more than I take from it, I will be a very happy man. For there is no greater joy in life than to give. Motto : Live, Laugh and Love. You can follow me on Twitter too . My handle is @Raja_Sw.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

With malice towards none

This is meant as a humourous piece. No offence whatsoever is meant to any individual or community or country.

BREAKING NEWS :

A state of national emergency has been declared in Pakistan. President Pervez Musharraf has convened a special meeting of his Cabinet.

"This is a national emergency" he says. "Our national institutions are being threatened. Our country's international standing is at stake. We have to dramatically improve our capabilities and skills".

"What do you want us to do Sir? Produce more scientists? More engineers? More economists? More army men?"

"No, we have plenty of those. ESPECIALLY of that last category. No, all I want is that all of you go out there - to each village in this great country of ours".

"And what do we do, Sir?"

"For heavens' sake, do I have to spell out everything for you? What an incompetent bunch of ministers I have to work with. All I want you to come back with is ONE BLOODY WICKET-TAKER".

The Minister, Pace Bowling reporting : "Good Morning, Sir".

"What's so good about the morning ? Don't waste my time. What have you got ?"

"Sir I've got excellent news. I have the perfect man".

"Wonderful. Tell me about him".

"Sir, for starters, his name is Imran Akram".

"Fantastic!!! How fast can he bowl?" "Sir, he can bowl 98.9 mph in his sleep !".

"Brilliant! You're my man. Just get him here - I want to meet him personally".

"There is only one problem, Sir".

"Problem?"

"Sir, I haven't been able to wake him up yet".

"@$#@$#$".

Minister, Spin Bowling, reporting : "Good Morning, Sir".

"It's been a bad morning. You better have something good to say".

"Yes Sir, I have the perfect person for you".

"Yes?" "Sir, his name is Saqlain Kaneria".

"OK. I'm not going to get too excited. I just heard about Imran Akram".

"No Sir, this guy is the real deal. This is no dream".

"Good, what are we waiting for? Tell me about him".

"Sir, he can bowl off-spin like Saqlain Mushtaq and leg-spin like Danish Kaneria".

"Brilliant! That's the man I am looking for. We will teach these Kumbles a thing or two about us. So he can turn the ball at right angles I presume?"

"Er..not exactly, Sir."

"Problem?"

"Sir, the thing is he is a very smart man. He likes to do everything as economically as possible. So instead of wasting a delivery bowling off-spin, and another one bowling leg-spin, he's invented a new delivery called off-leg spin."

"What is that now?"

"Sir, in one delivery, he does both - off-spin and leg-spin".

"I don't understand".

"Sir, when he tries both - the ball actually goes straight on".

"So he doesn't spin the ball ? It is just a straight, slow delivery ?"

"When you put it that way...."

"Get out! Right now! What a bunch of incompetent ministers I have here. Where are my pitch curators?"

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